Student Support Services

When “Good Enough” Doesn’t Feel Good Enough

Many children and teenagers place enormous pressure on themselves to succeed.

While striving to do well can be positive, some young people begin to believe that making mistakes means they are not good enough. Perfectionism can show itself in many ways: becoming upset over small errors, avoiding challenges for fear of failure, spending excessive time on schoolwork, or being highly self-critical even when they are achieving well.

Parents play an important role in helping children develop a healthy and balanced view of success. One of the most powerful messages children can hear is that mistakes are a normal and important part of learning.

Praising effort, persistence, courage, and growth rather than focusing only on results can help children build resilience and self-confidence. It is also helpful for children to see adults modelling self-compassion and coping calmly when things do not go perfectly.

Supporting children to understand that their worth is not defined by grades, achievements, or perfection can help reduce anxiety and encourage emotional wellbeing. When children feel accepted and valued for who they are, rather than only for what they achieve, they are more likely to develop confidence, resilience, and a healthier relationship with learning and challenges.

• ReachOut Parents – Supporting Teenagers and Perfectionism
• Triple P Parenting – Understanding Perfectionism in Kids and How it Can Link to Anxiety

Mandy Barr, Sarah Quin and Joanne Devota-Rando
School Counsellors

• Fortnightly Newsletter