Student Support Services
June 1, 2026 – Edition 7
Everyone has the right to live free from conflict, fear and intimidation
Supporting Children When Home Life Feels Tense
All families experience stress and disagreements at times. When conflict at home becomes frequent or intense, young children can be affected in ways they may not yet have the words to explain.
Young Children may become more clingy, quiet, anxious, or show big emotions such as anger or tears. Some try very hard to “be good” or keep the peace, while others may act out or struggle to focus at school. These behaviours are often signs that a child is feeling unsettled or unsure.
Teenagers may respond by withdrawing, becoming irritable, appearing anxious, or disengaging from school. Others may express distress through anger or risk-taking behaviours. While teens may appear independent, they are still deeply affected by the emotional tone of home.
What helps most is remembering that children don’t need perfect parents. They need to feel safe, loved, and reassured. Conflict itself isn’t harmful; what matters is how it is managed and repaired.
Modelling Healthy Conflict for Young Children
Parents and caregivers can support children by:
- Pausing when emotions are high – stepping away to calm down if needed
- Keeping voices calm – lower volumes help children feel safe
- Reconnecting after conflict – a hug, kind words, or reassurance goes a long way
- Apologising when needed – showing that everyone makes mistakes
- Reassuring children – reminding them that adult disagreements are not their fault
- Naming feelings – helping children learn that feelings can be talked about safely
Modelling Healthy Conflict for Teenagers
Parents and caregivers can support teenagers by:
- Staying calm and respectful, even when emotions run strong
- Taking breaks if discussions become heated, then returning to them later
- Listening as well as speaking, showing teens their perspective matters
- Owning mistakes and apologising – this model’s accountability and maturity
- Separating adult issues from teens – reassuring them they are not responsible
- Demonstrating problem solving- Define the issue clearly (separate facts from emotions); Listen actively to all perspectives; Generate options rather than jumping to one solution; Evaluate compromise, and repair and agree on a plan
Seeing adults manage strong feelings calmly helps children learn confidence, emotional awareness, and trust.
If family life feels challenging right now, you are not alone. Support is available, and speaking with a counsellor or trusted professional can make a positive difference. If you have concerns about your child’s wellbeing, the school wellbeing team are here to help.
Small, caring changes can make a meaningful difference, and every step taken to create emotional safety helps children grow and thrive.
If you or family/friends are experiencing any form of Violence, you have help.
- Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre – 24/7 support for Victorians
- Family violence support
- The Orange Door
Mandy Barr, Sarah Quin and Joanne Devota-Rando
School Counsellors
